As an austerity measure in view of the current recession, the IPL will impose a strict limit of only one ridiculously expensive, lavish party per team every night. Teams exceeding this limit will be severely warned.
Apr 25, 2009

Television viewers who express publicly that they find the IPL boring will be reprimanded severely by means of a personal visit (and ticking-off) from former BCCI secretary Niranjan Shah.
Apr 24, 2009

The IPL will hold complete Intellectual Property rights to any concept even remotely related to the tournament - such as team merchandise, player image rights, day, night, and the known laws of physics.
Apr 23, 2009

Any team owner or official who even casually mentions any sum of money less than US$100,000 will have to pay a fine of one million dollars. As further punishment, the sum mentioned will be enforced as a salary cap for that team for the next IPL season.
Apr 22, 2009

Match tickets will be available to the general public only after quotas have been made available to team owners, sponsors, film stars who aren't team owners, VIPs, people who might be VIPs, and dudes named Lalit.
Apr 22, 2009

Players will not be permitted to bring their wives and girlfriends into certain areas of the field, as this will distract the TV audience from focusing on the cheerleaders and film stars who will be present.
Apr 20, 2009

Book-cricket enthusiasts may not play out IPL-themed book-cricket matches using any books not authorised by the BCCI, such as the autobiographies of Kapil Dev and Mohammad Azharuddin, or the Zee TV annual report.
Apr 19, 2009

Fans who have pledged allegiance to any IPL team cannot switch loyalties to another without prior written permission from the franchise owner, the BCCI, their parents/legal guardians, and God.
Apr 18, 2009

Those living or working in any building constructed by IPL title sponsor DLF will be immediately evicted if found watching, discussing, or even thinking of, rival league the ICL.
Apr 17, 2009

Anyone watching IPL matches on TV will not be allowed to change the channel to watch any other programmes, at the risk of being permanently disbarred from watching TV ever again.
Apr 15, 2009