The IPL reserves the right to commercially exploit the IPL's rampant commercial exploitation.
May 5, 2009

Nobody involved with the IPL may criticise any of Mr Lalit Modi's ideas and innovations. Anbody who does so will be forced to take a "strategy break". For about 15 years.
May 4, 2009

Rain is strictly forbidden from falling during IPL matches. In case "rain" causes a match to be abandoned, "rain" will compensate the IPL by paying a hefty fine that covers for losses in gate receipts and advertising.
May 3, 2009

Everybody associated with the IPL - players, officials, TV crew, spectators - is required to express over-the-top enthusiasm about how much fun the IPL is, even when rain prevents a single ball from being bowled.
May 2, 2009

Anybody being interviewed by TV anchor Mandira Bedi is required, without exception, to compliment her on her new hairdo. Talking about anything cricket-related is strictly optional (whatever that means).
May 1, 2009

Any "fake" IPL players planning to write blogs that poke fun at their team owners and team-mates must first reveal their identities to the authorities, to make it easy for the IPL to sue their sissy pants off.
Apr 30, 2009

The IQ of any individual TV presenter for the IPL must never exceed the Twenty20 batting average of L Balaji. Additionally, the combined IQs of all presenters must never exceed the highest individual score in the IPL to date.
Apr 29, 2009

Any rule regarding the IPL may be modified, amended, or even overruled at any time by beings of ultimate power, such as God or Lalit Modi.
Apr 28, 2009

Bidding for ownership of future franchises of the IPL will be open only to people who are a.) Absurdly rich b.) Absurdly hot or c.) Both.
Apr 27, 2009

For the duration of the IPL, nobody living in Delhi will be permitted to read any Daredevil comics. Bookstores in the city will be permitted to display and sell these titles, provided they are located in buildings constructed by DLF.
Apr 26, 2009