The Heavy Ball
UK media shows massive interest in the IPL
Journalists rub their hands in glee before typing out the standard "I told you so" pieces
Alan Tyers
20-May-2013
England's Council of United Newspapers and Television has today issued a statement saying that "our members have voted to take a keen interest in the IPL in the light of the recent alleged spot-fixing crisis".
The official policy of the council had previously been one of "institutionalised indifference" to the "noisy and vulgar" sideshow conducted in India each April and May. After the tournament's inception in 2008, members had voted to produce one article per season dismissing the cricket on offer as sub-par. Features departments had agreed to commission an annual "sideways look" at the match-day experience, with the industry-standard conclusion: "It is silly and shallow - although I would enjoy having intercourse with one of those cheerleaders."
However, with evidence now emerging to suggest that the IPL is suffering from a serious corruption problem, Council of United Newspapers and Television editors are "keen to really focus some attention on the whole rat's nest".
Full postThe Malayalis who made cricket great
Three prominent cricket figures who you may not have known hail from a southern Indian state
Sidin Vadukut
14-May-2013
Ever since Sanju Samson, and to a lesser degree Shantakumaran Sreesanth, began to dominate the sixth edition of the Indian Premier League, cricket fans from all over the world have begun to finally sit up and take notice of Kerala's stellar cricketing heritage. And not a minute too soon.
Hitherto this small state in the south of India has been better known as a source of world-class footballers, volleyball players, authors, method actors and sex-symbol diplomats. This is an embarrassment of riches for a state that is merely the size of single districts in other vastly larger, overrated states such as Maharashtra and northwards.
With such a high intensity of social, cultural and intellectual greatness, it is little wonder that Kerala's cricketers have never really had the opportunity to get noticed. As the old Malayalam saying goes: "What is the point in shining a rechargeable torch at the sun, Biju?"
Full postL Siva to take over from Alex Ferguson
The ICC's new player rep readies himself for another tough sporting assignment - helping United win the IPL
Anand Ramachandran
13-May-2013
Cricket and football fans woke up to a rude shock last week when they heard that former India legspinner L Sivaramakrishnan has been appointed the manager of champion English football club Manchester United, replacing the legendary Sir Alex Ferguson.
Siva confirmed the appointment to reporters. "Yes, I'm honoured and delighted to take on this huge responsibility. I have a pretty good track record of taking on jobs for which I'm an entirely inappropriate candidate - consider my recent appointment as the ICC players' representative, my long stint as a TV commentator, and, come to think of it, the latter part of my career as a Test match spinner. So I'm confident I'm the right person for the job, precisely because I'm the wrong person for the job.
"Hey, have you guys noticed that K Srikkanth is beginning to increasingly resemble Captain Haddock?" he added irrelevantly.
Full postSidhu admits he doesn't make sense even to himself
And other news you wish you had missed during the past week
R Rajkumar
12-May-2013
Ishant Sharma's Adam's apple no-balled again
Despite all the hard work Ishant Sharma has put in over the years in trying to rectify his problem of being no-balled, because of his protruding Adam's apple, he was repeatedly pulled up again during a recent IPL match.
Despite all the hard work Ishant Sharma has put in over the years in trying to rectify his problem of being no-balled, because of his protruding Adam's apple, he was repeatedly pulled up again during a recent IPL match.
Umpires no-balled Ishant no fewer than four times when the troublesome protrusion in his neck repeatedly crossed the popping crease before any other part of his body had a chance to do the same.
Umpires say they have tried warning the bowler before no-balling him, but that every time they try talking to him they "keep getting distracted by that crazy-a** neck".
Full post'Time for some dinner!'
If you're ever caught without a watch, our Twitter round-up will help you plan your day
Alex Bowden
09-May-2013
Who says that cricketers on Twitter spend all their time making feeble jokes, congratulating team-mates or expressing mindless positivity, regardless of whether their team has won or lost? Every now and again, they also talk about cake or wine. Then they swiftly return to the mindless positivity - almost all of which can be summarised as either "We'll bounce back" or "Told you we'd bounce back."
The eating disorder
Andre Russell has developed a nasty affliction.
Full postAndre Russell has developed a nasty affliction.
There's something about Shahid
A lot of people think Afridi is ideally suited to T20s, but think again. T20 makes Afridis of everyone but negates the qualities that are his very essence
Alex Bowden
02-May-2013
The problem with the careers of Pakistan cricketers is that you never really know when they're over. Even life bans rarely prove terminal, so why pay any attention to a retirement? A player who has merely been dropped is barely even worth remarking upon.
Shahid Afridi has just been dropped for the second time in 18 months. He himself says that players "usually get dropped" and that "being in and out is a one-off thing". Nevertheless, at some point or other, he will be dropped for a final time, never to return - and cricket will be the poorer for it.
Pakistan fans will tot up his recent runs and wickets and perhaps reach a different conclusion, but I am not a Pakistan fan. I am a Pakistan enthusiast. I enjoy the very things that frustrate supporters yearning for a Pakistan win - the unpredictability, the irresponsibility, the total commitment to swinging off your feet even when the match situation positively demands that you bat defensively.
Full postFans grateful for IPL horn
And other news you wish you had missed during the past week
R Rajkumar
29-Apr-2013
Competition for Fair Play Award starting to get ugly
The sixth edition of the IPL has reached a stage when competition for the Fair Play Award has started to heat up, with many players and teams adopting aggressive and, sometimes, underhanded tactics in a bid to appear more gentlemanly than the others.
The sixth edition of the IPL has reached a stage when competition for the Fair Play Award has started to heat up, with many players and teams adopting aggressive and, sometimes, underhanded tactics in a bid to appear more gentlemanly than the others.
Adam Gilchrist, usually held up as a paragon of cricketing virtue, was pulled up recently by a third umpire for walking before an on-field umpire had raising his index finger. Replays suggested that Gilchrist hadn't in fact nicked the ball, and he eventually admitted that he had been just gunning for fair-play points.
Elsewhere, Rahul Dravid has been reported for intimidation after he barged into a third umpire's room and demanded to know why Rajasthan Royals hadn't been awarded points for the restraint he exhibited in not sledging a bowler back.
Full post'A billion hearts stop beating'
Looking for a barometer for modern culture? Look no further than the exclamation mark
Alex Bowden
25-Apr-2013
We like to think this column has its finger on the pulse of modern culture. As such, around 50% of this week's Twitter update is about punctuation. Kids love punctuation.
The exclamation
I think we'd all agree that this relatively long, rambling sentence exhibits few of the qualities necessary for it to be considered an exclamation! So why did I use an exclamation mark?
I think we'd all agree that this relatively long, rambling sentence exhibits few of the qualities necessary for it to be considered an exclamation! So why did I use an exclamation mark?
Good question.
Full postThe Piyush Chawla Simulator 2013
The latest advertising innovations in the IPL, and the BCCI's foray into video games
Anand Ramachandran
23-Apr-2013
Spurred into action by Pepsi's newest advertising technique - extreme slo-mo shots of pretty cheerleaders gulping the drink during games - another IPL sponsor is planning to spice up its brand presence using similar techniques.
According to a release from the marketing department of the bank in question, we will soon see clips of attractive women in skin-tight clothing opening savings bank accounts (at 7% interest), in slow motion.
"Yes, TV viewers will soon be able to see the thrill of opening a savings account with our bank during IPL matches," said a spokesman who would have looked absolutely awesome in a spiffy safari suit. "We will have slo-mo shots of cheerleaders and models filling up extensive forms, providing address proof and ID proof, getting documents notarised and waiting at our counters while the personal banking officer runs off to verify something random - all in glorious HD. It is sure to boost our brand's mileage among IPL viewership."
Full postSalman Butt takes solace in game of 'glorious uncertainties'
And other news you wish you had missed during the past week
R Rajkumar
22-Apr-2013
Batsman gets lost after bowler points wrong way to dressing room
A batsman who got a rude, geographically incorrect send-off from the bowler who'd just dismissed him ended up getting lost for days and almost starving to death as a result, according to reports. "Why would he knowingly point me in the wrong way?" asked the visibly stricken cricketer from his hospital bed, even as he was being administered intravenous fluids after finally making it back to the dressing room.
A batsman who got a rude, geographically incorrect send-off from the bowler who'd just dismissed him ended up getting lost for days and almost starving to death as a result, according to reports. "Why would he knowingly point me in the wrong way?" asked the visibly stricken cricketer from his hospital bed, even as he was being administered intravenous fluids after finally making it back to the dressing room.
"The kid's lost a lot of body fluids," confirmed his coach. "He spent hours under the hot sun, trying to find his way back and had to subsist for a while on nuts, berries, and the odd stray earthworm he found in the outfield."
The bowler in question has been pulled up by the third umpire, and is likely to be found guilty of flouting the code of conduct which relates to "bowlers gesturing towards or showing the batsman the way to the pavilion in an obscene, offensive or incorrect manner, without providing him the basic courtesy of a map to find his way there."
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