The aftermath of The Slap

Since everyone has been up in arms about The Slap (and it’s only a matter of time before the words are followed by a little ™ and we can all buy the DVD), it’s tempting to wonder exactly whether many losers have actually emerged from yesterday’s hearing in Delhi. Harbhajan, sure, but let’s look, with tongue placed only partially in cheek, at some of the other interested parties…

Lalit Modi: Once he had gained control of the press conference, Modi came across very well: decisive, firm and with a good grasp of the facts. He has been insistent all along that the IPL should pay more than lip service to the fabled spirit of cricket, and now he has been true to his word. The happy-family poses for the cameras with Harbhajan, Sreesanth and Farokh Engineer felt a bit forced, but he has handled his first major crisis with aplomb.

The IPL: Only two letters separate it from the ICC, but the handling of Bhajjigate (I’m bored with The Slap already) was done in a language the game’s governing body will not recognise. While the ICC keeps having to answer questions about Zimbabwe and Peter Chingoka’s visa, the IPL has avoided accusations of a fudge by suspending one of its most high-profile players. And guaranteeing more front-page coverage in the process.

Sreesanth: Bear with me on this one. Most blokes who get hit in the face get sympathy. Sreesanth has received a warning from Farokh Engineer and will be aware that not all his Indian team-mates regard what happened to him as a crying shame, if you’ll forgive the pun. On top of that, the BCCI might yet rule that his behaviour during Friday’s game in Mohali was less than angelic. If so, this is his big chance to change his petulant ways. Harbhajan has yet to manage it. Here’s hoping Sreesanth is watching carefully.

The papers: Writing as a freelance journalist who has more luck in the past two days selling pieces to English newspapers than at any time since the opening weekend, I can confirm that feisty tête-à-têtes go down well with papers. The columnists get a chance to mount their high horses, the picture editors clear space on the front page and the subs rub their hands with glee about the fact that Harbhajan has been “slapped” with a fine (geddit?). And if readership doesn’t increase for a day or two, then call me a cynical, two-bit hack.

Australia: Not only has their public enemy No1 lost several hundreds of thousands of dollars, but their public enemy No2 has copped one in the chops. The Aussies now get to say “we told you so” following events over the winter and the papers get to use gleeful headlines such as the Herald Sun’s “Singh slap shocker”, and the Courier Mail’s “What a slapper!” As yet there are no reports of dancing in the streets of Sydney.

Wisden: Scyld Berry recently warned in the new edition of the Wisden Almanack that he feared “the day is approaching when a high-profile, televised cricket match will see an outbreak of physical violence on the field”. Well, this did take place on the field, even if the game was over, and Wisden will presumably be relieved that the public is yet to witness the offending gesture itself. Still, 10 out of 10 for prescience, no?

And one loser: Lalchand Rajput, the Mumbai Indians manager, might have thought he was minding his own business when he failed to “restrain” Harbhajan, as Modi put it. Instead, he’s lost half his match fee. I suspect Bhajji owes him a beer.