Coachie coo
Five things Sourav Ganguly can do to get along better with coaches
13-Apr-2009
"You know, Sourav, we really can't have you wearing shirts without sleeves" • AFP
1. Retire. Call it a day. Hang up his boots. Call it what you may, just don't call it throwing in the towel, because that's among the things Ganguly is least likely to do. All this to say, perhaps it's time he saved himself the trouble of getting along with lesser beings like lateral-thinking team coaches and the like, by taking himself out of the equation.
2. Do a Shane Warne and appoint himself player-coach of every team he still harbours hopes of playing for. That said, he'll find it quite hard to sideline another gentleman in his current set-up, who is as fond of calling attention to himself as is good old Sourav: the ever-sprightly Shah Rukh Khan, majority stakeholder and full-time cheerleader of the Kolkata Knight Riders.
3. Appoint a shiny, swank, spiffy-looking team bus as coach. This will ensure that Sourav can always put himself in the driver's seat.
4. Agree with everything the coach says. A master move, if ever there was one, that will instantly confuse the coach and make him go all pensive. Job done, Sourav will have no problem getting along with the quiet, mousy fellow.
5. Find someone much younger than himself to be team coach. We all know how good Sourav is at getting along with, and getting the best out of, youngsters.
PS: Whatever you do, Sourav, stay away from Australians. And stay away from Australians. (That's just in case you have second thoughts about it.)