Some vital records that are on the verge of being broken

If he takes one more wicket or scores one more run, Waddington Mwayenga will break his own Zimbabwean record for Most Combined Runs and Wickets Scored by a Zimbabwean Called Waddington at Harare (16) . Sadly Waddington has not played for the national side since 2005, but he remains focused on his record-breaking exploits.

Kevin Pietersen is ranked 62,640,999th in the Tate And Lyle Most Popular Person in the United Kingdom Rankings and is eyeing a sensational record-breaking double of Most Lowly Placed Person in the United Kingdom Popularity Rankings Multiplied by Square Footage of House Owned in Chelsea - the so-called Michael Winner Constant - but faces stiff competition from John Terry.

Michael Clarke needs just seven more bottles of aftershave and three scented facial rubs to become Australia's all-time leading Most Eau De Cologne-Type Product-Owning Sportsman and break the record of 1896 Ashes wicketkeeping hero James "Fruity" Kelly. The record was initially awarded to Australian Who Smelled Most Like a Sheila but has been updated as cricketing and societal tastes have changed.

Mitchell Johnson is just one miniature Porsche Carrera and two Lamborghini Diablos away from breaking the record of Most Combined German and Italian Miniature Model Sports Cars Owned by an Australian Cricketer. The record currently stands at two, held by Mitchell Starc. Mitchell Johnson "does not own any Italian model cars yet but is working hard to put that right," he says.

Sachin Tendulkar is just one Oscar for Best Supporting Actress away from being The First Indian to Score 100 International Hundreds and Win an Oscar For Best Supporting Actress. The BCCI is lobbying hard to have the rules of the Academy Awards changed to allow males who are not in films to win the coveted statue, but has met with strong resistance from Anne Hathaway, who is herself just 100 international tons away from breaking the statistical milestone.