Sex, drugs, pizza
Well now, if it isn't the cigarette-smoking, beer-chugging, text-messaging blond wonder
Warney, Warner, Hollywood, the best captain Australia never had
Shane Warne was not only cricket's greatest legspinner and one of the all-time greats, as well as the only cricketer to inspire a musical, he is cricket's greatest movie waiting to be made. In it there will be sex, in it there will be infidelity, in it there will be drugs, in it there will be gambling, smoking and boozing. There will be also be some mighty fine cricket.
Whatever it was, presumably it wasn't the one about diuretics and slimming pills.
SMSing.
Shamita Shetty (younger starlet sister of starlet stakeholder in Rajasthan Royals, Shilpa).
Shanita (or Warnetty).
Kevin Pietersen.
John, from India.
Arjuna Ranatunga.
"Good enough to bowl a maiden over", trumpeted the Advance Hair Studio after they solved Warne's hair-loss problem. An advertising watchdog later claimed the ads were misleading. If only they knew.
Celebrity poker
Beer
Pizza
Beer
1. Warne to Paul Collingwood: "You got an MBE, right? For scoring seven at the Oval?"
2. Warne to Daryll Cullinan: "I've been waiting two years to humiliate you again." Cullinan: "Looks like you spent the time eating."
3. Warne to Ian Bell: "You don't like being called the Sherminator, do you?"
4. Adam Parore to Chris Harris, who had just bowled to Daryll Cullinan: "Bowled Warnie!"
By 'avin a fag.
Sachin Tendulkar, who accounts for about 92.89% of his total runs conceded.
Daryll Cullinan, who makes up approximately 93.47% of his total dismissals
A Test hundred.
Shane Warne will naturally be starring as Shane Warne in Shane Warne: The Musical. Walk-on roles for the sisters Shetty are rumoured, as they bid desperately to revive their Bollywood careers.
Osman Samiuddin is Pakistan editor of Cricinfo